Finding inner peace through… Forgiving your Parents

We owe our existence to our parents because they gave us life and brought us up in the best way possible. They dedicated their time, money and energy to give us everything we needed in life. Many are the times they sacrificed the little they had so that we could be more comfortable.

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However, some of us fall in the trap of blaming our parents for the way we turned up and how we live our lives. This makes us feel a lot of bitterness, anger and resentment, which prevents us from enjoying our lives to the fullest.

Many adults blame their parents for the various misfortunes they face in life. For example, a person with difficulties in keeping relationships may attribute this to their parents’ divorce while they were young. However, such a person has not taken time to understand why the divorce was inevitable. In many cases, parents who opt for a divorce often think it is the best for their children because the marriage was characterized by abuse, infidelity and lack of respect. In another example, a person may attribute their failure to prosper academically or professionally to their parent’s lack of involvement and encouragement.

What they might not understand is that the parent was busy working two jobs or coping with a hectic work schedule to put them through school, so they had no adequate time to spend with their kids. In any case, the parent lack of encouragement may be attributed to lack of knowledge in academics or a particular profession. If a parent was not lucky enough to get a good education, they may spend all their energies in ensuring their kids do not suffer the same. They do this by working for long hours to take their children to the best schools available. Such parents may not be very keen on spending time with their children or giving them professional advice.

People who keep on blaming their parents for their failures in life are usually depressed, anxious and resentful. These feelings prevent them from thinking clearly on how to make their lives better. Most of these people find it difficult to excel in all areas of lives, such as relationships, jobs and academically. They focus so much of their energy on how they have been wronged by their parents throughout their lives instead of using it productively. Such people are constantly in an emotional turmoil, and do not have any inner peace. They are always emotionally and physically tired as a result of carrying the heavy burden of resentment and anger.

Forgiveness is the first step towards achieving inner peace. It involves letting go of all the past grudges and any bitterness in our hearts. Most people find it hard to forgive because they assume that it will benefit the other party more than them. In most cases, we always feel that we punish our parents for all the perceived wrongdoings by making them feel guilty for all our failures. This makes us feel like we have more power over them.

To get closure, it is important to have a face to face conversation with your parent and discuss the feelings of resentment that you harbor towards them. Make it clear that you have decided to forgive them regardless whether your anger is justified or misplaced. This will lift the heavy burden from your heart and help you in focusing on more important things in life that can steer you to success.

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