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The Power of… Learning to say No.

We all understand the importance of learning to say no, when the thing we are being offered or tempted by will, consequently, hurt our health, relationship or both. The importance of that kind of ‘NO’ cannot be underestimated or understated.

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The kind of fundamental right or wrong decisions like those above are actually easy to make – once you have a grasp on the principle of right and wrong and the consequences, psychological or actual that saying yes will incur.

The harder principle is learning to say ‘No’ when the distinction between right or wrong is blurred. That’s what we want to talk about here.

You’re asked to make cookies for the bake sale. You’re asked to volunteer at the next PTA meeting. The list goes on. How can you possibly say no? Yet how can you possibly fit it all into your already busy schedule? Do you find it hard to say no when you know you really should? Many people find it difficult to do so without feeling guilty. After all, it’s always easier to give a quick yes to a request, only to realize later on, there’s no way you can do that. You may even start to stress.

Learning how to say no without feeling guilty can be a wonderful thing. With time and practice, you can gain this skill. Think about your reasons for not saying yes. Some things to consider include:

*Not Rushing Into Your Answer: Rushing into your answer is never a good idea. Let the other person know you will consider their request. Let them know you will check your schedule and see if you can fit it in. This way,you’re committing to anything, yet you’re not saying no right off the bat.
*Saying Yes For The Wrong Reasons: You may feel if you agree to everything that’s asked of you, you will gain popularity. People will like you more. What may end up happening in the long run is,people may start to take advantage of you. This is not a good thing and can only cause you more stress in the long run. You simply can’t please everyone all the time.
*Weigh The Pros And Cons: Will you have the time? Will you feel stressed and have regrets by taking on another “job”? Think about whether or not you will have time for your prior commitments.So how do you say no without feeling like you’ll let everyone down? Believe it or not, it’s not as hard as you may think. Here are some tips you may want to consider:-Let the other person know you’ve thought about it and your schedule doesn’t allow you to take on anything else at this time. Perhaps in the future, you can find a way to help.

-Stick to your answer. Some people can be more persistent then others. Even demanding. They may try to persuade you by saying such things as it’s just one time, or come on you can do it. Don’t feel bad about your decision. Don’t continually apologize for your answer. You don’t even need to give any more reasons. You have the right to not do something if you so choose.
-It’s never good to always say yes. Sure you’ve helped in the past. Saying no this time will allow you time to honor your other commitments you have. Plus by saying no, someone else will have the opportunity to say yes for a chance. You’ll feel better, happier and most important you’ll feel less stressed. Stand your ground and just say no. It really is just that easy.

 

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